Home? Community?

When we returned from our big summer vacation in July, it actually felt good to be "home." I put home in quotation marks because CA still doesn't completely feel like home for us, but then again, nowhere else does either. We have now been here a little over the year. One of the first things we did when we got home (after naps for everyone!) was go on a walk. It was great to walk down the street and wave hello to our neighbors, even as cheesy and not of these times as that is!

A year and a half ago, or so, after we had decided to take the job here in LA and move across the country, I had started praying some very specific prayers for our new home and life. One in particular was that we could know our neighbors and feel a sense of community. God has answered that prayer in the way only He can, above and beyond all expectations! We know many if not most of the people on our block and spend many hours each with with them. There are 22 children under the age of 10 on our block alone with 2 more on the way. And most of those kids are actually 5 and under. In a city like LA, it is unheard of how many other stay-at-home moms are here too.

As I think more broadly about community, I know we are blessed with a very unique situation. It can be so hard to be a stay-at-home mom with young children. And when you have a new baby, it can be challenging to go anywhere and get out of the house at all. That's where neighbors have come to be a huge blessing to me this past year. We don't have to plan play dates or pack up all of our things and load in and out of the van and waste precious awake hours in the car. A couple of texts and it's an impromptu party with 3-6 children, a hodge-podge of snacks and outdoor toys. Or we'll form a little stroller parade and hit up a park or go play at the fountain in downtown Culver City. Of course it's still work - the kids bicker and don't share and make a mess and someone is always yelling at someone to stop running down the sidewalk - but in the midst of the chaos, we find community. Living life together.

As I have thought through our situation, and in hopes of helping those who long for this kind of community, here are some the factors that I think have been key to fostering the kind of community we have found here in LA:

• The weather in Southern CA is unique in that it is mild year-round so you can always be outside. We all have small homes that can't really comfortable host the kinds of play groups we end up having most days. But the outdoors can be our play space here. Being outside has been the way we have met our neighbors. 
• I particularly found that many of the other stay-at-home-moms came out in the late afternoons as that's the time everyone is antsy in the house but there isn't really time to go anywhere with dinner to prepare and Daddy on his way home soon. 4-6pm has become a de-facto play time in the front yards. Everyone just ends up wandering out when they are ready. Weary moms, encourage each other and help look out for each other's kids and the children burn off a little energy before dinner time.
• One reason, I think, that we see so many people out and about here relates to where we live. We are a few blocks from downtown Culver City where there are restaurants, coffee shops, parks, a grocery store, banks etc. Culver City is a quaint downtown area in the middle of a big city. We have a weekly Farmer's Market, free concerts at City Hall in the summers, and other festivals and holiday celebrations. All of these things bring people out. And because it's really only a couple blocks away, people walk there and back and thus we have more opportunities to meet our neighbors just on the sidewalk. As much as it is possible, I hope we can always live in a walkable neighborhood.
• Young children are also a great way to meet people and start conversations. They are just a gift that way. They are cute and will smile or wave at anyone and it's always easier to start by just smiling and saying hi to someone else's child or use the excuse "Grace, say hi to this little friend and ask her what her name is." :o)
• Building community with your neighbors also takes work and intentionality. We have been intentional about walking and being outside. It took me a while to get comfortable with this but I have learned that you have exchange contact information as soon as possible so you can make sure you see each other again. Otherwise time just slips away or you don't remember exactly which house they live in and don't run into them again for months. We have also been intentional about praying for our neighbors. We invite them over and celebrate birthdays and holidays together. At first it feels like work and you're tempted to feel like you have to plan something and clean up, but eventually people become more like family. And it's good to let them see your home a mess, your make-up not on and your hair not done! I remember the day I was outside with the girls when Lucy was a newborn and I had forgotten to blend in my under-eye concealer and one of my neighbors graciously brought it to my attention!
• One last thing - offer to help and ask for help from your neighbors. There is nothing that gels a community like serving each other. And man, is it a treat to run to the grocery store sans kiddos while your neighbors play with them outside! I was sick last week and am so indebted to my neighbors for their help with my girls.

Jesus famously told us to love our neighbors. I know he didn't just mean those on our street but they are our neighbors too. We do love our neighbors here in Culver City and are blessed to be loved by them. 

I found this great little article on knowing your neighbors on The Gospel Coalition site. I hope you too find a sense of community wherever you are!